Kindergarten is a new space for children, which I do not know how to control very well. It represents the moment of separation from parents, which can trigger an avalanche of feelings and feelings. When children are angry, sad or angry and do not know how to express themselves differently, they use aggression. So, at some point it is possible to be called from the ranks and to be told that your little one has hit someone. How do you react?
Aggression in young children, why does it occur?
Aggression does not have the meaning of the classic definition in the case of young children. It is not an intentional or bad growth act. Aggression is the best channel of communication for the little ones who do not have or do not know other ways of manifesting the states they live.They convey these behavioral experiences.
Do not think that your little one is aggressive only when he is angry, angry or when a child in kindergarten refuses to give him a toy. It can be a manifestation of sadness and sorrow, but also of joy. He can convey to a child that he likes to spend time with him and that he feels good around them, hitting him or biting him.
What should parents do?
Generally, parents feel embarrassed and bow their heads in front of educators and other parents when the child is outraged about his behavior. On the contrary, say psychologists, parents should not feel ashamed, but should help the child to express himself properly and not be aggressive.
At preschool age, children send messages more by behavior than by words. They should be helped by parents to learn how to express themselves emotionally in such situations, without using aggression to convey something.
What can be hidden behind the aggression of the child?
physical or emotional overload (overloaded program, intense courses, too many demands, etc.);
problems in kindergarten (with the educator, with the group of children);
a change in his life (moving, the appearance of a brother, etc.);
emotional trauma (death of a member, physical aggression, etc.);
exposure to violent films and shows.
How do you react when your child is aggressive in kindergarten?
Don't yell at him, don't quarrel with him and under no circumstances hit him!
You will not solve anything! The child may not even understand why it is contested, because beating his colleague has shown just how much he loves her. Keep in mind that you do not intentionally or even in the form of emotional blackmail, to step on the nerves of parents or educators.
One of the potential causes of his behavior may be that you have a temperamental thread and genetically transmitted it to the little one. You cannot dispute it for its genetic inheritance, but rather you can correct it.
Talk to him about this experience and his feelings!
After hitting a child, take him away, let him calm down, speak calmly and ask him in a friendly tone why he did this, what caused him to act like that. Ask him what he feels about what he did, what he felt when he acted aggressively on the child. This inspection of the child's feelings helps you to find out the underlying cause of the behavior, to know how to teach him behavioral alternatives in such situations.
Teach him to verbally communicate his feelings and give up aggressive behavior!
Since he is very young and does not have the developed language at all, it is good to talk to your little one about feelings, feelings, etc. In the period when language is already beginning to develop, this communication becomes essential. The affective expression of the child is learned, and you are the one who can help him. If he tells you that he has enjoyed his colleague's company and that is why he has pulled his hair, you must explain to him that when he feels that he is happy with someone's company, he must verbally tell him "How happy I am to play together! I am happy every time we meet. I like to play and talk etc. ". He uses simple words, but one that expresses his state.
For example, in anger, when he is upset that a child has taken his toy, tell him that he has to talk to his little friend about this topic and that this is a much better way to get his toy back faster. Tell them to tell them that "I'm upset and sad that you took my toy; it's not nice what you did; when you want a toy from me you have to ask me for it."
Be persevering and always repeat these alternative methods of reaction!
Do not expect your little one to come in as soon as you want to say when you teach him how to speak, but you must be persevering and repeat them many times if necessary. He will probably hit the kids for a while, despite your teaching, but you have to keep calm and take it back even if it is the third time. Children need to be told things in order to retain them and especially to associate them with meaning. The more you talk to him and explain to him how to act, the sooner he will understand and realize that he is not reacting properly by hitting another colleague from the ranks.
Teach him to apologize!
Because you explained in detail that the way he reacted is not appropriate and is inappropriate it is important to teach him what the purpose of the apology is. Tell him that when he understands that he was wrong - and remind him that you have just explained that he did not do well by pinching his colleague because when he feels angry he has to talk about it - it is important to Say sorry to your coworker for what he did.
Tags Aggressive child kindergarten Child aggression kindergarten children Parent reactions aggressive child Emotions children Communication children